3 tips to help you build a good relationship with your bossPosted by Nicole CoyneOn June 30, 2023

We so often hear and talk about how to effectively manage teams. This would be from a manager or a leader’s perspective. How to communicate well with your team members or how to manage their performance issues. Very much top down thinking.

There is a large emphasis placed on how the manager or leader should best manage the relationship between themselves and their employees. Rightly so, this is a very important part of their responsibilities as a manager. Ensuring that their team feel confident in their roles, so they can perform at their optimum.

However, I don’t believe that this is a one-sided situation. It takes two to tango – it takes both parties to nurture and maintain a good working relationship. Being pro-active in relationship management, irrespective of your position or title is a good skill to have and to practise. It isn’t all about you and your needs, but the people around you also need to be considered, including your boss.

So, as an employee, what can you do to help build and strengthen your relationship with your boss?

This is where I would like to introduce you to the concept of managing up. Please understand though, that managing up is not about being submissive or taking on an inferior role. It is about taking charge and being an active, equal participant in your working professional relationship with your boss.

Here are 3 tips on how to manage up.

Your boss may be exceptionally good at their job, but they cannot read minds. They may think they can, but they cannot. Meaning, if you don’t communicate with them and give them the essential information they may need at the time, they cannot make the right decisions. If you have an issue within your working environment, or you need help or feel frustrated, they might pick up on your behaviour change and ask what is wrong, but generally if you don’t express how you feel, they will not be aware of your feelings or situation.

Don’t assume that they will “just know”. What is going on for you at the time is not something that is necessarily going on for them. Giving them some insight or context into your situation can be very helpful to both parties.

As we all hopefully know, not everyone will think like us. We are all unique and will all have our own unique styles in communicating, dealing with change, decision making, stress and pressure situations, as well as managing and approaching conflict.

By understanding your boss’s style, you will be able to use this to communicate better with them. I like to call this working smarter, not harder. If you know that your boss’s style is to have all the details and facts before making a decision, ensure that you have as many relevant facts to present to them before approaching them for an answer. They will ask you for the information if it isn’t supplied, so pre-empt the situation.

If your boss likes to take their time when making a decision, don’t ask them for something last minute and expect a good outcome.

By knowing their style and working with it, not against it, you will be contributing to an effective working relationship.

It doesn’t matter how well we think we can separate our work and personal lives, we cannot. We bring our personal issues to work and vice versa. But you are not the only one who does this from time to time, your boss will do this as well. They too are only human, just like you.

If you can pick up that your boss is a bit “off” or not themselves, instead of ignoring it, take their mood or state of mind into consideration. This is about showing empathy and kindness. Ask yourself, do I need to raise a complex issue with them right now, or can it wait until tomorrow, when they are in a better headspace? They will be grateful for your kind and selfless consideration of their feelings.

Lastly, the above tips are not just been implemented by you, your boss is following these tips as well. It takes two to tango.