A couple of weeks ago I went target shooting. I absolutely loved it and in hindsight was not too bad. After the session we were presented with our results. Nine out of ten hit the bull’s eye for my first set. Instead of celebrating the nine bull’s eyes I instinctively focused on the one shot, which did not hit the bulls eye. Asking myself, “what did I do wrong?”.
What is wrong with this picture?
Unfortunately, this is how we operate. It is our natural instinct to look for the weaknesses and danger in every situation. To look for the weaknesses so we can survive. Sadly our reptilian brains haven’t progressed much over the centuries and it is still looking for the Saber-toothed tiger which is threatening to eat us for dinner.
So how do we get over this? How can we control this natural instinct, which overlooks the successes and constantly surveys for the gaps and weaknesses? Don’t get me wrong, understanding our weaknesses and areas for improvement are essential for business and personal growth and success, but it is not the only area we should be focusing on.
We need to consciously choose to celebrate the wins. So, how can you implement this into your business or life’s daily routine?
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Focus on what people are doing right – How often do we purposely look out for people doing the right thing? Make a concerted effort to try and find people doing the right thing around you and then tell them.
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Compliments first!– Before getting stuck into a regular daily/weekly/monthly meeting with your team, suppliers, contractors etc take 2 minutes to compliment them on a job well done. Verbalise this win, preferably in front of others, you will be amazed at how this changes the environment.
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End of day gratitudes – before going to sleep at night, list 3 activities or tasks that you did well during the day. They don’t need to be massive projects, even the smallest success is a win.
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Reduce negative influences. – Our environments and the people we associate with within that environment on a regular basis are a huge influence in our lives. Their attitudes, behaviours and opinions very often rub off on us, causing attitude and behaviour change. If you find yourself constantly focusing on the negative, talking about failures non-stop and generally walking around with a dark cloud hanging over your head. Consider your environment. Who is negatively influencing you? If you had to remove that person or people from your environment, how different would your environment be?
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Acts of kindness – One of my favourite tips! Challenge yourself to perform an act of kindness everyday. These don’t need to be massive acts, any act of kindness is meaningful. This could be letting someone into the queue of traffic, complimenting someone on their new haircut, buying a coffee for a homeless person. Small, but meaningful.
Choose to see the good. Choose to see the positive. Choose to celebrate the wins.
Nicole is a certified professional coach as well as a certified trainer, advanced assessor and coach mentor. Based in Auckland, she provides a range of coaching options, from individual business owner and management coaching, group and team coaching workshops to personal coaching. Her coaching practice is aligned to the ICF ethos and ethics. Need to hire a professional coach? Contact Nicole [email protected]
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