Why don’t they just get it?Posted by Nicole CoyneOn October 11, 2023

This is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. To actively do that, always be curious, enter the conversation by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and seeing the situation from their perspective. This can help you better understand their thoughts and emotions. This also makes you less judgemental and more open to listening.

This is probably one of the hardest things to do. Instead of formulating your response while they are talking, focus on what they are saying. This will help you better grasp their point of view and therefore start understanding why they may have a different opinion to you. Listening with no agenda.

This helps to clarify. Asking open-ended questions, not only shows that you are interested in their viewpoint but also helps you gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts and feelings.

Be open to the idea that your way of thinking is not the only valid perspective. This can be a toughie, especially if you are very set on your opinion! Recognising and respecting that different people have different backgrounds, experiences, cultures and belief systems that shape their views.

Just because someone thinks differently doesn’t make them wrong. Disagreements or healthy debates can lead to productive, lively open discussions and learning opportunities. Always be respectful, always!

Never ever assume that others share your beliefs or thought processes. Making assumptions about what someone thinks can lead to misunderstandings, conflict and all kinds of upset and negative consequences.

This is probably one of the most important points. If you encounter a perspective that challenges your own, practice self-control and emotional intelligence. Avoid reacting impulsively, and instead, take a moment to consider the other person’s viewpoint before responding. Remember, we will never agree with everyone we meet. We will never all share the same viewpoints, but we can always be respectful and manage how we behave.

Find commonalities or shared goals with others if there is a difference of opinions. Emphasising shared interests can help bridge gaps in understanding and create a more collaborative atmosphere.

Recognise that everyone has biases. Reflect on your own biases and how they might influence your thinking and reactions to others. Being aware of your biases can help you be more open-minded.

Sometimes, people will have fundamentally different perspectives that may not be reconciled. In such cases, it’s okay to agree to disagree and maintain a respectful and civil relationship.

Embrace the opportunity to learn from others who think differently. Always go into a conversation with the objective of wanting to learn. Exposure to diverse perspectives can broaden your own understanding and lead to personal growth.

Changing one’s perspective or mindset can take time. Be patient with others as they navigate their own beliefs and thought processes.